Lyrics Calgone

On my way home, police car pulled me over
After they left, I puttered out of gas
Triple-A' came, but my card was expired
I had to walk home, and of course, it rained half the time
I tried to get some shut-eye, then I was abducted.

They put cold things in my butt
They sampled a bit of my D.N.A.
They left me on top of my sheets
I dreamt I went potty, then woke up drenched in me.

This day sucked the hardest ever...
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today
A little bit less than nothing would go my way
I got up to toss my soiled sheets
The hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe
It was then that I sensed the irony
(Burning me)
Then I heard the voice say
"Come sail aboard S.S. Nepenthe!"
I suppose I'm to blame for getting pulled over
I guess I'm the culprit for running out of gas
Let's assume I'm the guy who didn't pay his 'Triple-A' fee
In actuality, I let the zetas probe me
Yesterday was all my fault
I let negativity get the better of me
Thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds
They temporarily set free this quandary.